The last two or so weeks have been more packed than I usually like, or am used to. If you know me offline, you may have an inkling of why I have not been able to post or even really have time to reflect on anything. It should not be an excuse, though: “the un examined life is not worth living”. Reflection would probably make things easier in my line of work, but without too many resources (human or otherwise), it often goes to the bottom of the priority list.
Living in the US, it is easy to get used to a less thoughtful, fast paced and so-called “productive” mode of living. Take for example, a conversation I was having yesterday about a random project, and my question kept coming up: “what are you trying to achieve?”. Is that even valid? In this society, it is a quintessential question, but I think… When I go to the symphony or listen to house music, or simply take my time cooking an arepa for Sunday breakfast, there is no real end goal, the activity in itself and the time it gives me to pause… That is what I am trying to achieve.
At the risk of sounding super trite: In the end, I think I will remember the laughter of my partner, the hugs from my Magoo (my mom) and a delicious Naruto roll I once ate with my oldest brother…more than all those goals, outcomes and check offs on my to-do lists or grant reports. But on the other hand, I struggle with the tension of indulging too much in abstractly satisfactory endeavors, without being able to see the outcomes clearly enough.
It’s time to get ready for work.